Why I did NaNo Wrimo last month

 

    I won NaNo WriMo this year. And it feels pretty amazing.

    Do you know the last time I won NaNo? 2011. When my life was even more hectic. (Going to college full-time, 2 toddlers at home, chat moderator, Part of a writing group, book reviewer for 2 professional reviewing companies, and full time care giver to my MIL who had Alzheimer's and Dementia. Not to mention all the other daily life stuff.) My load is much smaller now, so how did I win then?

    The last time I actually participated in NaNo was 5 years ago. Yes, if you look at my profile page it says I was there in 2018, but, I didn't get any word count that year. The last year and the previous years I actually wrote--I just could not get the word count.  It was bad enough that I really thought my Muse was dead. Not just for the creativity of writing, but also in all aspects of creativity. In fact I wrote a blog about the yawning emptiness I felt back in 2018. Click Here to read it. I was in a dark place when I wrote that and it was one of many things that made me sad and stressed that year.

    As this year went sideways and I found myself with much more time when I lost my job, I decided that I wanted to write. I longed to have the writing bug bite me and get lost in a scene or section of my book. And no, that rush doesn't happen during the whole book, but I know it does happen and it is really a rush. I missed it. I missed living in these worlds and being right there with my characters as they shoot off in some random direction that takes me unaware. And honestly for the past few years I didn't feel that. Each and every word I got on paper was simply meh. I felt mentally exhausted simply writing a paragraph. I even tried starting new stories in hopes that they would spark the flame, but they didn't. They ended up being another unfinished failure. I almost gave up my muse as dead. And maybe it was? Perhaps what I write with now is a new shiny adopted baby muse? I dunno. It could be. I used to say that my Muse was the Imagination Movers.

    And then as my muse began dying and becoming more unresponsive to treatment until it became confused and difficult, I thought perhaps it had become Patrick Star when he wrote the song in that one episode of SpongeBob.

    Then there was nothing but the void for a while. There was even a time that I had stopped reading for pleasure. Which I remedied and I continue to this day.

    So here I was with this corps of my muse and plenty of time on my hands, and I decided to do NaNo WriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Nano seemed like a good starting spot because there is an end goal of 50K in 30 days. It doesn't have to be pretty and it doesn't have to be specific. You just write every day. Butt in chair--which I hear is the real secret to becoming a successful author. With that in mind, I remembered what I had learned about forming habits; it takes 21 days to form a new habit and about 66 days to form a new behavior. Alright, sounds like just the thing I need. Nano is 30 days. If I run with the habit and keep writing into December every day I will form a new behavior pattern and will probably finish my novel. This is the main push to do Nano.

    Another reason is the NaNo community. I found that when I was in my writing group M.U.S.E. (Most underappreciated Super Egos) I felt inspired. Sharing my writing and getting feedback and being part of something that the others enjoyed also was wonderful for my creativity. (I think this might be part of the reason I was successful back in the day, honestly.) Hearing four different versions of a story from the same writing prompt was amazing and fun. It gave me perspective and empathy. Mostly, it encouraged me to write and share. Being part of NaNo is kind of like that. I have author friends that root me on and share their struggle. I joined multiple FB groups where I got to interact with other people that are just like me. I gave advice where I knew the answer and got some answers as well. And then there are the prep talks from famous authors that give you a boost and help you realize that they are just regular folks too. This band of brothers and sisters help me want to write and help me feel like I'm part of something more.

    I think it all worked out. I not only wrote every day (mostly) but I won NaNo. And I have been continuing my writing because I want to finish this novel. I also want to finish off all my other forgotten babies that got about halfway before I abandoned them. By the end of next year, I plan to finish all of my WIPs including the first one (Sam Wolfe) who had fought me many times over the years. Then, maybe I'll work on some of the stories that have been bouncing around in my head occasionally yelling at me to pay attention to them. 

    And the best part is that I'm writing for me. Yes, I'll try to publish them, but if they don't make it--that's alright because I actually wrote it and I lived in that world for a while and it'll be out there in the world. And that's enough. That will be fulfilling. Me and my new Muse are at the beginning of our journey together and I look forward to learning more about them and myself.

    Did you do NaNo WriMo? How did you do? How is your Muse doing? Remember to feed, water and cuddle it regularly or it will fade. :D

Writing sex scenes can be weird

 

    Earlier this morning I came across a post in one of my writing groups. The person seemed almost shy when they asked for advice on writing s*x. They couldn't even write the word sex. They may have censored it because of FB police. But I think it had more to do with the fact that speaking openly about sex is still a bit Taboo.

    We're not as bad as we used to be when it comes to sex and passion, but it is still a sticky subject when it comes to publicly speaking about it. It's more likely that you'll be exposed to Gore and other graphic content then you will be to extreme romance (if you will).

    Which does seem strange to me. I can see a person get eviscerated on a tv show but don't you dare give me the vapors by showing me carnal passion. lol

        As far as writing it you have to get the physical stuff right first. One author friend of mine used her daughters barbies to see if a sex position could be logical. Other's use modeling dolls or software to ensure they are accurate.  I mean, it'll take you right out of the story if the guys penis is at a 90 degree angle and goes around corners. Or if the girl has shelf booty and the guy is trying spooning.

    After you handle the physics of sex, you have to get in touch with the emotional aspect of their love making. You have to remember or imagine that vulnerability and overwhelming sensory overload as well as the psychological ramifications. Sounds simple, right?

    Yes and no. For a while,  when I was beginning my writing career,  my children were small and very needy. My cats were also forcefully lovey and don't give a damn if you want/have to write. During that time, feeling sexy or romantic is hard both in fiction and in real life. I would start to get in the rhythm of writing a tender, erotic scene and the kiddos would fight or get hurt or need food/drink/diaper change. And that would yank me right out of the moment as fast as if someone threw ice water on me in the middle of coitus.  Or the cats would jump onto my computer typing their version of Old McDonalds E-I-E-I-Oooooooooo...

    And even if I was lucky enough to be able to write while the kids occupied themselves or were napping in the middle of the day, I had a vague sense of wrongness to it. Like I was watching porn out in the open in the light of day with the sound up and the doors and windows open. I wasn't but I was so immersed in the scene that I could touch, taste, smell, feel and see the sweat glistening on skin as my lovers whispered sweet nothings to the music of their love making. When I was done, I would glance up startled to see my messy cluttered living room and the tv on a rerun of some sitcom. The fire lit dimness of my mind slowly vanishing to the realism of the day. 

    Most times, I ran around like a crazy person and had no time during the day. I was a full time college student at that time as well and had to write so many dry, logical, APA critical research papers. By the time I slogged through those my Muse was sickly and weak.

    My best time during those hectic earlier days was at night. When the lights were low, the kids and cats were asleep and the house  was blissfully silent. I would finish up my "logical" school stuff and then settle in to write my stories. Many nights I sacrificed sleep just to get those uninterrupted moments in. But, in the dark solitude, I was able to revive my muse and fully pour myself into the sex scenes and with it being dark, it seemed a little more natural and a little wicked instead of out right lecherous. When I came out of my writing daze the night seemed to embrace me and leave me feeling like I'd created something beautiful instead of adolescent directed porn. 

    And as a side note. I read some books from other authors on how to write sex scenes. I read blogs and listened to podcasts. And I had my husband write some of the books from the male's perspective because he knows better than I how things feel physically and emotionally. That's one of the reasons we created Heather Geoffires because having both sides seems to make it more realistic.(For any of you that have read how men write women and how some women write men honestly, you know what I'm talking about.)

    Anyway. Writing sex scenes can be difficult and weird. These are some random thoughts I had this early morning.

    How do you feel about writing sex. What about when you read it? Any advice?